The end of Cap'n Crunch?

A big part of the childhood of just about anyone growing up in the 60s or 70s may be coming to an end.

Rumor is, Quaker Oats is planning to “retire” one of its best-selling cereals, Cap’n Crunch.

Although Quaker is denying any plans to discontinue the line of cereals, the rumors have persisted. My experience has been if the rumors don’t die, there usually is something to it.

See a mid-60s Cap’n Crunch commercial here!

Cap’n Crunch has attained quite a colorful history since being introduced in 1963. The sea captain’s scandals over the years include a surreal court case brought about by a woman who claimed she was misled because the “crunch berries” she had been eating for four years were, in fact, cereal and not a real fruit.

In 1971, a Vietnam vet discovered that blowing the toy whistle included in Cap’n Crunch boxes resulted in being able to manipulate the phone lines into allowing the “whistleblower” to make free phone calls worldwide.

In 2009, the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale named Cap’n Crunch the worst nutritional score of any cereal.

Now, it seems the good captain has muddled through those tidal waves only to be threatened with the loss of his job. I, for one, will be very disappointed. I still buy a box of the sweet crunchy stuff on occasion, and losing the captain would be like losing an old friend from my formative years.

Should the need arise, I (and hopefully my faithful readers) will organize a continuous assault of pleas and demonstrations to keep Quaker from sending the captain out to sea.

Who’s with me?

2 thoughts on “The end of Cap'n Crunch?

  1. A flurry of reports had noted the beloved Captain was retiring. But the Cap’n himself announced, on a newly-created Twitter account, that “I’m hearing the rumors. I would never retire. I love being a captain too much!”

    As part of an initiative campaigning for healthier children’s meals, it had appeared that PepsiCo. – the parent company of Quaker – had been quietly lowering the sails of the iconic breakfast cereal since 2007. Daily Finance reports that PepsiCo. “vowed to reduce added sugar per serving by 25% and saturated fat by 15% in its products over the next 10 years,” and efforts to reduce child obesity could have been the reason behind the popular breakfast item’s coming end. The cereal’s official website skirts around the issue of actual nutritional value, offering only, “Cap’n Crunch is a great-tasting cereal which supplies grains, an excellent source of seven essential vitamins, is low in fat, cholesterol-free, has 0 grams of trans fat, and contains 1 gram of fiber.”

    Cap’n Crunch was created in 1963 by flavorist Pamela Low, who created the ubiquitous yellow puffs from a brown sugar and butter concoction that her grandmother served over rice. Several successful variants were rolled out over the years, including Peanut Butter Crunch, Choco Crunch, and NewsFeed’s personal favorite, the elusive and wild Crunch Berry.

    Cap’n Horatio Magellan Crunch, though you may not be the healthiest cereal on the block, you’re certainly a part of a balanced breakfast in our hearts.

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