Which of the Halloween movies should I watch???

It has always kind of pissed me off that the Halloween series sees the psychotic, un-killable killer Michael Myers lumped in with the psychotic, un-killable killers Jason Vorhees from the Friday the 13th series and Freddy Krueger from the Nightmare on Elm Street series.

It’s like apples and oranges.

MV5BMTY0Nzk0NTk2OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjQ3NTk0MQ@@._V1._SX349_SY500_Okay, so maybe it’s like an orange-colored apple and an apple-shaped orange, but it’s still apples and oranges. I have never been a fan of Friday the 13th; coming up with as many creative and ridiculous ways to kill teenagers is not horror…it’s more of an instructional video, really. And I have never considered anyone who makes the audience laugh with one-liners just before they kill someone a true horror villain. Sorry, Freddy. Those movies are camp…geared at getting 16-year-old girls through the 80s and 90s to jump and scream. That is not horror.

The Halloween films were different. The “gore” is limited, especially in the first film. Instead, these movies create an oppressive, almost neurotic atmosphere of paranoia. They also are able to interweave a pagan, Godless aura that fits neatly into the Halloween spirit, something Jason and Freddy do not achieve.

Well, I have to qualify myself. Some of the Halloween movies hit the mark. There have been 10 films made in the franchise, and the only ones worth your time are the first one, Halloween II (1981), and Halloween H20 (1998). Together, these three tell a complete story within themselves, and are still the perfect marathon for Halloween night.

 

Halloween (1978) (YES)

The original is still the best. Jamie Lee Curtis plays Laurie, a shy teenager in a quiet Illinois town who falls victim to an escapee from a mental hospital. Unfairly credited with being the father of the slasher film genre, Halloween never descends to the tripe most slasher films fall prey to, avoiding an abundance of graphic and unrealistic murders and too many phony “gotcha” scares. Made on a shoestring budget, the first film stands above most in its genre.

Halloween II (1981) (YES)HalloweenII_poster

In what was in its time an inventive and risky move, the sequel to Halloween was filmed with the original cast and picks up literally seconds after the last film leaves the viewer. Focusing on more of a back story, Halloween II compliments the original in a way most sequels fail miserably. Released at the beginning of the slasher craze that dominated the 1980s, it does suffer from too many gruesome deaths that may have you rolling your eyes, but these don’t ruin the claustrophobic vibe, this time taking place in a hospital.

Halloween III (1982) (GOOD ONCE)

A standalone story that does not feature Michael Myers, Halloween III is all right on its own, but definitely not essential.

Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) (NO)

To cash in on the success of the first film, the fourth entry brings back its anti-hero. Unfortunately, the filmmakers had been watching too many Friday the 13th movies, as Michael is now apparently a supernatural immortal, capable of murdering entire groups of people (in ridiculously over the top ways, of course). Jamie Lee Curtis wisely sat this one out, so Michael has to go after her daughter, who has conveniently just appeared. Stupid.

Halloween V (1989) (NO)

Now, supernatural immortal Michael, who has been killed like 18 times, has developed a telepathic link to Laurie’s daughter. And he kills tons of people just for the sake of body count. Yes, it’s just as bad as it sounds.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) (NO)

This one is a little odd and marginally better than the last few, attempting to explain the reason for Michael’s ability to defy death time after time. Unfortunately, it still falls victim to too many fashionable young people flailing wildly as they needlessly run from supernatural immortal Michael.

Halloween H20 (1998) (YES)

Despite the stupid title, this one restored my faith in the series. Jamie Lee Curtis returns, as does a well-thought out script and a believable storyline. Ignoring the crap inbetween, H20 picks up 20 years after the end of Halloween II, and is actually more of a character study of both Laurie and Michael than a horror movie. More importantly, Laurie and Michael are once again human, making the film relatable. The teenage victim element in the last third of the film is a little tired, but the ending is worthy of the series.h20

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) (NO)

A blatant and unnecessary attempt to cash in on the unexpected success of H20. Sends the series right back down to a cheap slasher level.

Halloween (2007) (NO)

Rob Zombie’s “reimagining” of the original. Sucks. Don’t even bother.

Halloween II (2009) (NO)

Wow. I didn’t think Zombie could make a film worse than his version of Halloween. I was wrong.

One thought on “Which of the Halloween movies should I watch???

  1. Hey Fred, great post. I agree 100% that the only decent movies are 1, 2, and H2O. Three is only worth watching for the kid’s head getting turned into a snake pit.

    I hated when they trailed off into the whole “Michael has a niece” bullshit. And seeing Michael get his just desserts at the hands of his sister in H2O was a long time coming. But then they go and do a sequel and Laurie ends up on the wrong side of the blade. Laurie Strode is one of those characters who never should have been killed off, yet they did it for shock value and to fill theatre seats. Well, “fill” might be a generous term there.

    Regardless of the channel it’s on I always watch Halloween at this time of year. Nothing gives me the heebie jeebies like this series.

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